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MAN COULTER PART 2!!!!!!!!!! ‘THE LOYAL ORDER OF THE TOPS’
By scenequeen | August 17, 2008
Part 2 of The Loyal Order of the Tops
Degrees of bottoming are in important for the Loyal Order of the Tops to understand. You can maneuver and do the picking at your leisure.
-Al-Qaeda Bottom: The worst of the bunch. They usually are self-indulgent and act on impulse. Be warned if you decide to get involved. Known to manipulate feelings, steal money, play the extreme passive aggressive card to the hilt and wreck you emotionally. You will know if you encounter one of them. They tend to be the Broadway actors, some television personalities and fey twink boys.
-Kennedy Bottom: Not as severe as the Al-Qaeda but pretty damn close. These are the types that like the kinky scene. Tend to enjoy fisting which closely ties them to the Al-Qaeda Bottoms. They usually are the Fire Island, San Franciscan, Chelsea, Province Town jet setters. Come from money or have a ton of it. Usually, self-body obsessed and you must be too, sleeps with anyone and everyone as long as they have a share or frequent the “circuits.” Jobs include, managers at Barneys, architects, interior designers and various off screen television productions. The good thing is they are contained to their areas and hardly sway. If you must dip into this cesspool bring a vile of GHB or meth and you usually will control the situation for one night.
i.e. Beware. Always think they are right.
-Clinton Bottom: The majority of the bottoms fall into this category. These are the crew that tends to be stationed in the middle. They usually are the waiters, bartenders, or any service industry jobs which means musician, dancer, artist (painter) or the like. They tend to get bouts of depression and live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The Blue Collar of the bottoms. This is the dateable category. Yet, please be advised they can be swayed quite easily. They also are the ones that tend to get bored. These are the ones the Tops should look out for and try to wrangle in before the two prior categories get a hold of them.
-Gingrich Bottom: These unfortunate fellows are the straight boys who like to dabble when they are supposedly “drunk.” They work in such fields as construction, politics, economics, models and the sport fields. Beware if they say the term “pay-for-play,” for obviously reasons. Tops tend to fall for these guys. Whoever came up with that word “straight-acting” should be shot. It has made these bottoms the most sought after hurting the Tops self esteem. If they can turn one of these they think they are the second coming. Yet, be warned this group pretends to be tops and want to fuck you or only interested in a blowjob. So Tops, if you are ok with that, feel free. They rarely bottom and if they ever get into that position you will encounter, “ouch,” “slow down,” “your too big,” “if you tell anyone…” and the list can go on forever.
There is an off shot category, versatile. Now, versatile is just another word for a Clinton Bottom. They usually tend to lean to the bottom side but something in their mind says they need to be the Top for the night to still feel in control even though they hold the cards. Tops, it’s perfectly fine to flip flop. What you will learn is that the bottom does not know how to top and will immediately want to go back to what they know. It’s a good learning curve.
These issues will be discussed in the next Man Coulter articles. I will explain the how and exactly what the Loyal Order of the Tops will entail.
Topics: MAN COULTER |
August 17th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
very interesting take, man coulter.
though i don’t partake in anal sex, i would most likely consider myself a “clinton bottom”.
flip flop flip flop…
August 17th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Now the most important question, what would a Barack O=bottom be?????
August 18th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Hahaha! This is an amazing article Mr. Coulter… Very true indeed. I suggest you don’t show your face on the highly anticipated Man Coulter video blog because the Obama (bottom) followers are going to assessinate you.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Mr. Man Coulter, would you please publish a list/category contaning a description of all the different types of tops…..I would just like to try to match myself up with a top guy who is meant for me! After all, I am only familiar with BUSH TOPS. You know the ones who have no regard for personal safety, comfort, or discretion! Those are the ones who always rape, pillage, and plunder right?
August 24th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
One of the funniest things i’ve read in some time!
Death to Al-Quaeda bottoms! They hate me because of my freedom!